Introduction

Hey folks! If you’re like me, the holiday season is the ultimate free pass for indulging in all things creamy, sweet, and yes, boozy. I mean, it’s practically a seasonal requirement. And what’s the epitome of all that delicious sin? You guessed it: homemade eggnog. Forget what you know about the sludgy store-bought stuff; we’re making this creamy delight from scratch.

When you don’t have the moolah to buy Ronnybrook Farm’s gold-plated eggnog, you make do, and when it comes to booze, I shine. Let’s get real. I’ve been through a messy divorce, got acquainted with the word ‘debt’ in the most intimate way, and now have a DIY life that would make even the most crafty Pinterest mom shake her head in disbelief. But DIY eggnog?  I can’t mess that up. It was a staple in my house during the holidays growing up, which is why Aunt Carol always seemed to end up singling on top of the car by the end of the evening, so I have GOT THIS!

Why Bother With Eggnog Homemade?

Who needs overpriced, store-bought eggnog when you can make an amazing eggnog homemade in the comfort of your own kitchen? Seriously, folks, the only reason to grab that carton from the shelf is if you’re conducting a what-not-to-do tutorial. Here’s why you should consider making homemade eggnog:

Quality Control

Listen, you’re a grown adult. You should be able to read and understand all the ingredients that go into your homemade eggnog.

Hot Tip: If your five-year-old can’t read the ingredient list, it’s not for human consumption.

Economical

Who says you have to break the bank to enjoy some quality eggnog? Homemade eggnog can be budget-friendly, and it’s especially useful for folks like me who’ve had a closer relationship with debt than with most humans. Remember that one time I splurged on that “essential” Christmas decoration? Yeah, I’m still paying that off. But guess what? My homemade eggnog doesn’t require a credit check. Thank God!

Customizable Flavor

You know that feeling when you buy something and it’s almost perfect, but just not quite? Kinda like my ex, but let’s not go there. With homemade eggnog, you get to be the boss of your own flavors. Want it sweeter? Add more sugar. Craving some extra spice? Throw in that cinnamon. And if you’re feeling frisky, double up on the booze. It’s like a ‘Choose Your Own Adventure’ but with alcohol. What could possibly go wrong?

The Joy of DIY

There’s a certain satisfaction in creating something from scratch. Maybe it’s the same satisfaction I felt when I finally got that divorce paper. Or perhaps it’s that little voice in my head saying, “See? I can adult!” Whatever it is, creating your own eggnog will give you a sense of accomplishment that no store-bought version can provide.

Healthier Option

Okay, let’s not kid ourselves. We aren’t exactly sipping on green juice here. I am going to have to spend an extra hour in the gym for the next month just to be able to button my pants without them splitting up (like they did last year.)  But the beauty of DIY is knowing exactly what’s going into your concoction. No hidden preservatives, no unpronounceable chemicals—just pure, unadulterated eggnog goodness. It’s like going to a yoga class but with calories. And trust me, those calories are worth it. Eggnog as a Conversation Starter Ever been to a Christmas party and didn’t know what to talk about? Whip out your homemade eggnog story. It’s a guaranteed crowd-pleaser. And if Aunt Carol asks about your personal life again, just redirect her to the eggnog. It works every time.

Ingredients You’ll Need

Whipping The Yolks

1. 1. All of the best recipes for homemade eggnog start with the art of whipping the yolks. Yes, I said art
   2. Separate 12 large egg yolks into a mixing bowl.
   3. Beat them until they thicken and turn a lovely pale yellow.

Adding The Sweetness

1. 1. Slowly stream in 1 cup of sugar while continuously beating the egg yolks.
   2. You know you’re done when you lift the beaters and the mixture forms a ribbon.

Making It Flavorful

1. 1. This is the point where you add in your vanilla and nutmeg.
   2. Keep the mixer on low to avoid an eggnog facial.

Insert infographic about the steps with fun visuals

Adding The Booze & Cream

1. 1. Mix in your milk, followed by the bourbon and rum.
   2. In a separate bowl, whip heavy cream to soft peaks.
      

      Home Made Egg Nog

   3. Fold this whipped cream into your main mixture.

Note: If you plan on letting this heavenly concoction sit for a while, don’t be stingy on the alcohol. Unlike your ex’s promises, this thing can actually go sour.

Cooking

1. 1. Beat the Eggs: Not too much; we’re making eggnog, not an omelette.
   2. Add sugar gradually, unless you want a sugar rush.
   3. Heat the milk. Don’t let it boil; you’re not making a latte.

Personal Anecdote: The first time I tried heating milk, it ended up tasting like regret and lost opportunities. So take it from me, don’t let it boil.

Storing

1. Cool It: Nobody likes warm eggnog; it’s like room-temperature sushi—just don’t.
2. Store Properly: In an airtight container, unless you enjoy the unique taste of fridge air.

Common Mistakes to Avoid

I’m not saying you’ll screw up, but if you do, it’s probably because you did one of these things.

• Overbeating the eggs: You’re making a drink, not a cake.
• Too much sugar: Unless you’re Buddy the Elf, dial it back.
• Ignoring Nutmeg: Nutmeg is the unsung hero of eggnog. Respect it.

Remember: Making mistakes is how you learn, but repeating them is a choice. Choose wisely..

Benefits of Homemade Over-Store-Bought

Spiked eggnog

Beyond the obvious pleasure of saying, “I made this,” there are genuine benefits to going DIY on your eggnog:

• Customization: Want it vegan? Go for it. Want extra cinnamon? Live your life.
• No Preservatives: Need I say more?
• Taste: Homemade just tastes better; it’s a universal law or something.

Let’s Get Real: If you’re going through the trouble of making it, make it right.

Frequently Asked Questions

Can I make a non-alcoholic version?

• • Yes, but it will be super rich, and I’m not talking about my future husband (yeah, learned my lesson on the last one). No, it will be pucker-faced, sweet, and thick as all hell, like a dessert you can’t have too much of, and you have a better chance of puking up your dinner than you would drinking whiskey and beer.

How long can I store it?

• • Ideally, between 1 and 3 weeks for maximum flavor. But honestly, it’ll probably be gone before you even start worrying about storage.

Can you freeze homemade eggnog?

Absolutely! Follow these steps:

1. 1. 1. Let the eggnog cool to room temperature.
      2. Pour into a sturdy plastic container, leaving 1-2 inches at the top for expansion.
      3. Seal with an airtight lid, label with the date, and freeze.
      4. For best quality, freeze below 0°F. It’s good for up to 6 months, but who can wait that long?

Is eggnog still made with raw eggs?

Well, darling, traditional eggnog does have raw eggs, much like my raw sense of humor. But before you freak out, many recipes today use cooked custard bases or pasteurized eggs. So, yes, while Aunt Carol’s “secret” recipe might still be salmonella roulette, there are safer options out there.

What is the most popular alcohol for eggnog?

Oh, honey, let’s dive into the boozy world of eggnog. Traditionally, it’s been spiked with rum or brandy. But if you’re feeling adventurous (or just raided whatever was left in the cabinet), Bourbon’s a trendy choice. Remember, it’s the holidays; there’s no judgment here!

How risky is eggnog?

Risky? Well, it depends on how you look at it. There’s the “I might add a few more inches to my waistline” kind of risk, and then there’s the “drinking raw eggs from a questionable source” kind. If you’re using pasteurized eggs or a cooked method, the health risk is minimal. But if you’re guzzling down the homemade stuff from dodgy ingredients, well, let’s just say you might be playing food poisoning roulette.

Why is it OK to drink eggnog?

Why is it okay to binge-watch reality TV in pajamas all day? Because it feels right! Eggnog is a creamy, dreamy holiday tradition, and if done right, it’s as safe as any other treat. Plus, after the year we’ve had, I say we deserve to indulge a bit. So, pour yourself a glass, and let’s toast to surviving another wild ride around the sun!

Recap

So, why DIY homemade eggnog? Because nothing says “I’m nailing adulthood” like making your own holiday drinks. Plus, you can monetize it, which is pretty much the epitome of adulting

There you have it, the full guide to elevating your homemade eggnog game from “What is this?” to “Where can I buy more?” And if anyone asks, just wink and say it’s a family secret, even if the only family involved was a YouTube tutorial and your impulsive need to create something from scratch.

 

Final Thought: Making homemade eggnog is not just about the drink; it’s about the experience, the mistakes, and the potential cash flow. Cheers to that!